A Family Belonging to Christ (Ephesians 5:21)

Sermon on 11 January 2026 by Pastor Gaius

Introduction

The book of Ephesians (a letter written by Paul) set out the roles of each family member.

Message

submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ - Ephesians 5:21

Paul addressed the wives first.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. - Ephesians 5:22-24

God’s command here is to the wives. These verses are not for the husband to use to command his wife. It would not be right for the husband to use these verses to oppress his wife. These verses are from God directly to the wife. The message here is for the wife not to be against the husband but to assist, especially when the husband is trying to bring the family to Christ. Without the support of the wife, the husband cannot do anything.

Next, Paul addressed the husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. - Ephesians 5:25-33

Husbands are to love the wives so much that they sacrifice themselves for the wives, through actions and not mere words. If a husband models himself as such, it would not be difficulty for the wife to submit to such a husband. The message for the husband is not to control the wife, but to have concern for her.

Third, Paul addressed the children.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honour your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” - Ephesians 6:1-3

Children are to please the parents, not the other way round. The message is for children not to be obstinate, but to be obedient.

Fourth, Paul addressed the parents.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. - Ephesians 6:4

Be careful not to frustrate your children with your words. Sometimes, we may say things which hurt them, but do reconcile quickly. The message for parents is to not enrage the children, but rather to encourage them.

Fifth, Paul addressed the helpers/employees.

Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free. - Ephesians 6:5-8

Helpers are to work with a sincere heart. The message is for helpers to serve in a way that is not forced, but to serve fervently.

Lastly, Paul addressed the employers.

Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him. - Ephesians 6:9

Both employers and employees/helpers have the same master - God, who is fair. In God, there is no partiality. Hence, employers should also be fair rather than be fierce. It is easy to submit to someone of higher authority; you may receive praise, recognition, or a good appraisal. But can you submit to someone in a lower position? That is the litmus test of humility.

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. - Colossians 3:18-25

Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven. - Colossians 4:1

Closing

We submit to one another because of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). We fear God. We  do not want to cause our Father in Heaven grief. We want to please Him. Let us be shining examples of Christ-like behaviour.